Like a major league baseball pitcher, mom is the most important player on the field, or in this case, in the house. Unlike the pitcher, however, she rarely gets a break between games to rest her arm, her head, or her tired body: like the Energizer Bunny, she just keeps on going and going.
‘If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy’. Keep in mind tiredness is the number one reason for being irritable. Cranky parents are miserable to be around. You owe it to your children to be in a positive mind frame; not getting angry with them for small mistakes.
Read on for some practical tips on how to drag “be happy” to the top of your to-do list:
1. Let it go.
Instead of obsessing over a clean house or getting in a daily workout, just relaxed and enjoyed the fleeting moments of their childhood. Eventually, you will have time again for the things you didn’t before. Enjoy the moments that go by so quickly.
2. Don’t compare.
There’s no need to feel “less than” when you notice that your friend is a better cook than you are or that your other friend is an amazing professional who juggles work and home life flawlessly. Every mother has her own unique gifts and talents and comparing yourself to each other isn’t helpful.
3. Stop trying to be the perfect mother.
Mothers need to spend less time trying to be the “perfect” mommies. Our instincts are usually right about how to parent our children, so we should use them to create safe, secure, comforted, and loved children who are ready for each new phase of their lives.
4. Give your children space.
Of course, being caring, firm and protective of our children is important. It’s even more important to give kids enough space to figure things out for themselves. It’s ok to help your children with their homework; don’t do it for them. You can try to cushion the fall, but sometimes, your child will need to fall, literally or figuratively.
5. Just let your kids know you love them.
If you are a mother who tries very hard to balance your work and home life, it’s a good idea to create special moments when you can. Try to stop everything you are doing to hold, soothe, listen, or play with your kids whenever they need it. Never reget going the extra miles to spend quality time with your kids. The best memories are usually the simplest.
6. Try not to feel guilty for working.
Mothers who have full-time careers outside of the home shouldn’t feel guilty for working, whether it’s by choice or a necessity. Children will know that you are providing for them and following a passion.
7. Be kind to yourself.
Some days, you might feel like a failure at parenting after a crazy morning wrangling the kids. Actually, it’s so important to be kind to ourselves and model self-love. If we don’t, how can we expect our kids to love themselves?
8. Be active in the education of your children.
A child’s education is not the responsibility of only teachers and schools. Parents play a vital role in their child’s education. The best thing you can do for your child is show an interest in their education; not just their grades. Ask them about what they learn at school, and if they find learning easy or challenging. Ask them about their friends and classmates; social learning is just as important as academic learning. Make sure they are keeping up with their homework. Life maybe busy, but if possible, volunteer at the school or be present at activities (concerts, sports events, etc.) because it makes a big difference to your kids.
9. Remember to take care of yourself, too.
All too often, moms put themselves last. It’s not wrong, but moms shouldn’t forget to take care of themselves when they can. Go for a coffee with a friend or take an extra-long bath. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be able to take care of our families.
Why be happy?
Many scientific studies have found a connection between psychological and physical well-being.
A 2012 review of more than 200 studies found a connection between positive psychological attributes, such as happiness, optimism and life satisfaction, and a lowered risk of cardiovascular disease. Laura Kubzansky, professor of social and behavioral sciences at Harvard School of Public Health, and other Harvard School of Public Health researchers published these findings in the journal Psychological Bulletin.
It’s not as simple as “you must be happy to prevent heart attacks,” of course. If you have a good sense of well-being, it’s easier to maintain good habits: exercising, eating a balanced diet and getting enough sleep, researchers said. People who have an optimistic mindset may be more likely to engage in healthy behaviors because they perceive them as helpful in achieving their goals,” Kubzansky said.
“A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture, and transform.” – Diane Mariechild
Sources: http://www.parenting.com/parenting-advice/mom/9-lessons-older-mamas-want-young-moms-to-know; http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2011/12/working-moms.aspx; http://edition.cnn.com/2014/03/20/health/happiness-wellbeing-health/index.html
Editor: Anna R. Phoa, Anggie Kirana, Aulia Nurdini
English Language Consultant: Todd Cordy
