Deep down, we know that if we could only be a little more confident and comfortable, we could do anything. However, we only sit quietly in the corner and let the confident people to reach the sky. If you are like that, we’re inviting you to be braved and be relieved to discover that it’s normal to feel scared when you’re about to embark something new such as having a new different role at school, learning a new skill and attending the first date.
Confidence is a huge issue for many people because it affects self-esteem, success, relationships and happiness. Low confidence can make you feel like a failure. Confidence can often seem to be the key to get everything we want—but what if we feel that we don’t have enough of it? Moreover, what does real confidence actually look like? Can we cultivate it? and how?
Confidence means different things to different people, as related terms—self-confidence, self-esteem, inner confidence, outer confidence—all play their own role within the spectrum of confidence. Psychologist Dr. Ilona Boniwell summed it up perfectly: “Self-esteem is more about liking yourself. Self-efficacy is our belief in our capacity to try and accomplish something.” Niki Flacks, acting coach and psychologist explains, “When we are confident in doing something, it tends to be afterwards that we realise this. That’s when we say, ‘Wow, I really did that, I was confident’.”
Self-efficacy, coined by Canadian psychologist Albert Bandura, is the concept of simply giving something a go—to try something even if you don’t know what you are doing. And it is from this point that confidence can be cultivated; confidence is a skill that can be learnt, as long as we are willing to try.
The consensus from the experts is that we can all develop confidence by the experience of learning and doing something which are able to create confidece. Confidence is not coming from magical mystery formula. Seven eminent experts reveal the seven secrets that can help you more confident in your own life.
The first secret is coming from Annie Ashdown, bussiness and personal development coach and clinical hypnotherapist. She says, “if you’re nervous in any social situation, flip the attention to finding someone more nervous and making them feel at ease. Show up and see how you can be useful.” Another secret is coming from Dr Ilona Boniwell by suggesting something like this: “Try, even if you cry. Identify something you consider a weakness that has reduced you to tears. Is it really weakness on your part? Spend a few minutes thinking differently about it.”
A life coach, Dawn Breslin suggested taking a break from setting your life goals and deciding what you would like to feel instead — fulfilled, respected, happy. While a research scientist in biophysiology, Dr. Nitasha Buldeo, reveals another secret. She says, “Find a role model who embodies the confidence you respect and identify what it is about them you like”.
Niki Flacks is coming up with a suggestion like this: “Combine you fear with a cake. Pair up your experiences in which you lack confidence with experiences you enjoy. Half an hour spent sorting your account, for example, followed by an hour indulging in what you love.” Author of Confidence: the Surprising Truth about How Much You Need and How to Get It, Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzie, says, “Narcissists are bad for your emotional health. Ignore somebody in your circle who is desperate for attention. Pay a genuine compliment to someone who deserves acknowledgement.” The last secret is coming from a Leadership coach, Patsy Rodenburg. He suggests to make a real connections by asking a stranger one question about themselves and listening to their response.
Now, we would like to share with you 7 habits that might help you in developing your confidence. They are assessing yourself, keep learning, developing your willpower, talking about your positive experiences, toning down your worst thoughts, ditching thinking of doing and adopting a good posture. Then, try to ask yourelf about these questions: “Which daily habits do you currently have which helped you to feel confident? Which daily habits can make you admit the feel bad about yourself? Which new habit would make the most difference to your confidence? What can you do to help you in developing the habit of thinking positively and confidently?”
“Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”—A.A. Milne
Source: issuu.com/elena391/docs/psychologies_-_march_2016/1