Now is your chance to freshen up those good intentions and commit to making positive changes for yourself and your family. These simple, yet effective New Year’s resolutions will help to make 2016 a happier, healthier, and better balanced year.
What is Happiness?
We first acknowledge that happiness is subjective and largely depends on each person’s attitude. As such, There are as many definitions of happiness, as the as many as the number of people studying what happiness is about.
In layman terms, it is: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy; a pleasurable or satisfying experience.
What Determines an Individual’s Happiness Level?
Research studies show that our enduring level of happiness (H) is determined by our happiness set point (S), life circumstances (C) (influenced by aspects of temperament and character such as depression and sleep quality) and intentional or voluntary activities (V). Martin Seligman proposed an equation for happiness: H = S + C + V. Further, Sonja Lyubomirsky, a prominent researcher in the field of happiness and author of The How of Happiness, attached percentages to these components. She suggested that our set point, or happiness level is determined by birth or genetics, and accounts for 50 percent of happiness; circumstances such as marital status, earnings, and looks determine 10 percent; and the remainder of our happiness comes from intentional activities or things we can do to change our happiness level.
What About Our Children’s Happiness?
Bob Murray, PhD, author of Raising an Optimistic Child: A Proven Plan for Depression-Proofing Young Children — for Life, says, “The research clearly shows that happy, optimistic children are the product of happy, optimistic homes, regardless of genetic makeup.” What can you do to create a home where your child’s happiness will flourish? Read on for seven strategies that will strengthen your child’s capacity to experience joy.
1. Foster Connections
“A connected childhood is the key to happiness,” says Edward Hallowell, MD, child psychiatrist. “Connectedness” — a feeling of being loved, understood, wanted, acknowledged — emerged as by far the biggest protector against emotional distress, suicidal thoughts, and risky behaviors including smoking, drinking, and using drugs. Christine Carter, PhD, executive director of the University of California at Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, says, “And it’s not just the quality, but also the quantity of the bonds: the more connections your child makes, the better.”
2. Don’t Try to Make Your Child Happy
It sounds counterintuitive, but the best thing you can do for your child’s long-term happiness may be to stop trying to keep her happy in the short-term. Once you accept that you can’t make your child feel happiness (or any other emotion for that matter), you’ll be less inclined to try to “fix” her feelings — and more likely to step back and allow her to develop the coping skills and resilience she’ll need to bounce back from life’s inevitable setbacks.
3. Nurture Your Happiness
One of the best things you can do for your child’s emotional well-being is to attend to yours: carve out time for rest, relaxation, and, perhaps most important, romance. Nurture your relationship with your spouse. “If parents have a really good, committed relationship,” Murray says, “the child’s happiness often naturally follows.”
4. Praise the Right Stuff
“Praise the effort rather than the result,” Murray says, “Praise the creativity, the hard work, the persistence, that goes into achieving, more than the achievement itself.” The goal, Carter agrees, is to foster in your child a “growth mind-set,” or the belief that people achieve through hard work and practice, more than through innate talent.
5. Allow for Success and Failure
“Mastery, not praise, is the real self-esteem builder,” Dr. Hallowell says. While it can be difficult to watch our kids struggle, they’ll never know the thrill of mastery unless we allow them to risk failure. Through repeated experiences of mastery, they develop the can-do attitude that lets them approach future challenges with the zest and optimism that are central to a happy life.
6. Give Real Responsibilities
“Happiness depends largely on the feeling that what we do matters and is valued by others,” Murray observes. So the more you can convey to your child that he is making a unique contribution to the family, from an early age, the greater his sense of self-worth and his ultimate happiness.
7. Practice Habitual Gratitude
Finally, happiness studies consistently link feelings of gratitude to emotional well-being. “One way to foster gratitude in children is to ask that each member of the family take time to name aloud something he or she is thankful for,” Carter suggests. “This is one habit that will foster all kinds of positive emotions,” she assures, “and it really can lead to lasting happiness.”
Source: https://faculty-gsb.stanford.edu/aaker/pages/documents/ThePsychologyofHappiness.pdf; http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/fear/raising-happy-children/
Writer: Aulia Nurdini
Editor: Oliver Nicholas Phoa
